Bitter Memories?
by Monkey2
Summary: My very first fan fic, so please revew - what could have happened in Yukina had never reached the Nadesico. Also the darker side of Ryoko is explored
1. A beggining

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­This is my first fan fic ever in any way shape or form so please don't flame me unfairly I NEED HELP! But first:

Legal stuff: **Nadesico is owned by Xebec and ADV Vision not me!** So I don't claim to own any of the characters in this fic apart from those which I have invented (which obviously are not those which appear in the TV series) so please don't sue me or anything similarly painful. Just watch your complimentary copy of the series and reflect on the wonderful job you have done.

This fic is a mixture of boredom and the excesses of imagination and hot chocolate over my Christmas holidays. I've often wondered what would have happened if Yukina had never arrived on the Nadesico or in fact the Jovian council had never considered a peace settlement. So much hinges on this critical period after which the Nadesico goes on its final mission. Also the series was about Akito and his various admirers mainly Yurika I thought that he really should have chosen Ryoko as she was much less neurotic and less likely to kill him … anyway hopefully I can develop her in this fic cos she didn't have a huge amount of depth in the series so I can do whatever I want (within certain limits of course) Although I am introducing a couple of new characters only one is a major one from outside the ship and I am going to scrupulous lengths to make sure he has no Mary – Sue attributes including GBH. Rant ends Also later on the darker side of Ryoko's past history.

Ps. I apologise in advance for the poor attempt at humour… I'm sorry mostly this fic will be serious … mostly

PPs. As this is my first fan fic ANY criticism will be helpful especially if it is actually constructive, hopefully I can learn something from this, so please don't randomly rubbish it, except if it is reeeeeeeeeeeeeealy crap in which case fire away. I'm sorry for spelling errors.

Picture the Nergal Battle ship Nadesico gliding serenely though the inky blackness of space. An awe inspiring site for anybody…. Ok most people, however if it was all you had to look at for a whole day with nothing else to distract you it would get somewhat boring. Now imagine how boring it would get if you had to stare at it for a whole week……..pretty damn boring.

So understandably the crew (using the word loosely) who were used at this time to a fair amount of excitement and in some cases danger, were bored out of their (differing sizes of) minds.

            Ship time 2:05 AM

Due to a week of inactivity, and reports that the Jovians might have been pushed back beyond the Lyminthinal orbit (authors note: this is the point where the earth and moon's gravities cancel each other out creating a null point in space which obviously is a good staging point as your ships can stop without orbiting/falling towards the earth or the moon) and possibly even mars! The crew of the Nadesico are all asleep; the sound of their mutterings and snores fills the corridors of the ship

_Yurika is dreaming of Akito and their childhood on mars_

_Hory isn't dreaming anything that I could safely put in this fic_

_Minato is dreaming about Shiratori_

_Akito is having a rather strange nightmare about a cake with Yurika's face on it insisting that he eats her_

_Jun is dreaming about Yurika ditching Akito in favour of him (definitely a dream)_

_Megumi is dreaming about her life before joining the crew of the Nadesico as a voice actress, although she doesn't recognise the character she is voicing, a rather strange girl, in a giant bio-mechanical mecha who reminds her of… Ruri? All this to the strains of hallelujah_

_Ryoko is dreaming about her Aesti _

_Ruri isn't dreaming at all because strictly speaking, not all the crew is asleep:_

The reason why Ruri is at her station on the bridge at 2:06 am is the rather ambiguous Nergal directive 127 subsection c) paragraph iv) "While in deep space the bridge must be manned by a qualified member of crew at all times"

Ruri's devotion to her duty is admirable but even so after 47 hours even she is starting to doze.

Just as her head starts to nod….

Omoikane's screen flashes as writing scrolls across it – Ruri, an anomaly has been detected at the edge of our sensor net.

Still half asleep Ruri mumbles "Hmr …… what?" (Because she's Ruri) "Status report"

Omoikane – a ship has been detected on the extreme edge of the asteroid cluster STR 00493. Its power consumption is minimal barely enough to keep on a standard life support system for a ship of that size. It was only initially detectable due to the distress beacon, standard issue UE forces Mark VI….

Ruri absorbed the rest of the available information though her IFV's in a couple more seconds, then she had to choose….

'Proper procedure would be to inform the captain and allow her to decide appropriate action on the available data….' Ruri thought as her finger hovered over the internal intercom system for the ship

However after no sleep and enforced duty, due to the laxity of the other members of the crew …. Ruri was feeling a little, testy.

RED ALERT – ALL CREW TO THEIR STATIONS – THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

Understandably with a screen popping up throughout the ship and blaring this message in their ears the whole ships crew suddenly woke up

For some reason giving in to this childish whim made her feel better…

Ruri finally gives in and goes to sleep, but not before her finger, 'accidentally' presses the fire countermeasures button 

___________________________________

All the bridge crew rush in 5 mins later to see Ruri asleep at her station

All the pilots rush to Aestivalis 

            ( Unfortunately in their hast to get to their stations no-one had time to realise that in some corridors the sprinkler system had turned on, so many of the crew were wet and very annoyed at being dragged out of their beds at two in the morning)

Jun running and then sliding to a halt outside the bridge entrance way, panting with exertion "Sorry ……. I'm ……. late …. The sprinkler system turned on in one of the corridors…" (Unfortunately he is still wet and still sliding) "…agh!" (Slams into a console with some force and buckles over as his head slams against the floor)

This wakes up Ruri which is lucky for her…

General shouting at Ruri (except obviously Jun who is still squirming on the floor) "Why the hell did you set off the General Alarm!

Ruri now fully awake and icy calm(which is surprisingly easy if you are the only one dry, even if you are only 14) answers "There is an unidentified ship" ( points at Omoikane's monitor behind her) "It could be hostile."

Yurika (mollified somewhat) "O what shall we do …" exclaims "what do you mean unidentified!"

Gesturing to the screen, Ruri explains "It is not registered as an UE vessel yet it does have a UE distress beacon. However the extent of external damage precludes visual identification."

Understandably somewhat annoyed with being woken up, then drenched, Erina exclaims "If it's so damaged why did you have to call everybody out of bed in the middle of the night! And turn on the fire sprinklers as well!"

Jun re-gains consciousness and looks around, wondering why he is on the floor, before he realises that he has just made a complete fool of himself and quietly sneaks off, before anybody can start laughing at him.(poor Jun, I recon its all down to his haircut personally)

Ruri  now the only vaguely calm person in the room tries to explain, unsuccessfully, why she had to make everybody up. "The ship is venting air out into space and the power levels are so low that if we want to have any chance of rescuing anybody left on board we need to act immediately."

Erina, seeing a chance to go back to bed if this is concluded quickly goes for broke "So obviously, we need to send out…."

Ignoring her as she is too busy thinking Yukina announces  "I think that we should launch the Aestivalis, now!"

______________________________________

From the command deck all that can be seen of the launching Aestivalis are their fiery trails.

"Finally, let's go, form on me!" Even at two in the morning Ryoko manages to sound professional.

"Com network, initiated." Under her breath Izumi mutters " I don't know why I need to be here, it's only a recognisance mission for god's sake!"

                        The internal screens showing the other pilots in the wing flicker on

"O, I see you dressed up especially for Akito, Ryoko" Even the tinny rendition of Izumi's voice coming out of the speakers managed to leer on every syllable 

"Shut up, I arrived late at the hanger and didn't have time to get changed"

Akito's face suddenly reddens as he inadvertently stares at Ryoko and notices that she didn't have time to put on her flight suit

Akito's mind swung back to the beauty contest and his treacherous tongue took over

" Ryoko …… you look nice in that outfit…." Akito then thinks, 'that was stupid' however it is too late

                        Pause as this is digested

" ………….!............YOU SICK PERVERTED FREAK! ………. STOP STARING AT ME LIKE THAT!" After realising what Akito just said Ryoko responds as volcanically as always

            Of course Izumi and Hikaru collapse with laughter.

Yurika's screen suddenly thrusts itself into Akito's face.

Of course the bridge is privy to all of this "Akito! Stop staring at Wing Commander Subaru!......STOP IT….that's an order" Yurika is uncharacteristically snappish with Akito.

Akito's left eyelid started to twitch uncontrollably as he looked from one woman to the other, both thrust in his face and both yelling at him.

"You're unlucky Akito…"Izumi leers.

"………..?" Akito knows that he is being set up for something, and he doesn't want to find out.

"Yea ……….Normally Ryoko sleeps naked!" Once again the Hikaru, Izumi double team make it their mission to try and embarrass Ryoko and Akito.

Akito's brain shuts down.

"WHAT ! …….that's not true" "WHAT ! Akito look at me this instant" In unison both Ryoko's and Yurika answer this statement in their own ways. 

"Akito, I should inform you that in precisely 1.345 sec you will smash into Ms Subaru if you continue at your present velocity…. now 0.574 sec…" Ruri unfortunately in this case is absolutely correct, as always.

Akito screams and rips all the screens away just in time to see the Ryoko's stationary Aesti looming in his view screen.

They collide just as Izumi finishes scanning the ship for heat sources.

"Nothing going on there, although the same couldn't be said for Ryoko and …" Izumi once again never missing a chance.

" What the hell do you think you're playing at Tenkawa!" Justifiably Ryoko's voice is shriller than normal as she spirals lazily but uncontrollably as she slices into the already damaged ship with a sickening crunch "Dammit my frame is caught on this stupid ship, …. Akito! Help me!"

Akito is too shell shocked to notice and Izumi and Hikaru….

"Whoa boy, calm down!" "It's not his fault he couldn't control himself!" Well Izumi and Hikaru couldn't give up an opportunity like this without some barbed comments.

                        They're laughing too much to help anybody least of all themselves. 

"Shut up and get me out of here you mal adjusted ….." Being stuck in such an awkward position especially if you are very proud does not improve ones temper.

Akito is still reviewing what has happened so far and shuddering occasionally 'she's going to kill me' (who, we will never know).

Izumi and Hikaru haven't stopped laughing.  

Ryoko manages to rip her way out of the ship.

Miraculously the ship stays intact, which is lucky because:

Izumi serious for once stops laughing "O *@!%* (random Japanese swearing) there is someone in there, I've just detected a heat source. Must have been shielded by something which was knocked away by bowling ball here…"

"Right, let's go in!" pause as Ryoko listens to the rest of the sentence "... and shut up!"

"Shouldn't we tow it back to the Nadesico?" Hikaru the voice of reason in a word of chaos, some of the time at least.

"Moving the ship would not be advisable, the ship was already damaged before the …." Coughs reproachfully "collision …." Ruri quietly mocking everybody as always, in fact it almost sounded as if she said 'Bakka!' as she coughed.

            Everybody looks at Akito.

Akito buckles under the pressure and screams " I'M SORRY, OK!"

Ruri continues as though nothing had interrupted her " ….. also as hull is now breached in even more points now, most of the ship is de-pressurised. However the area which contains the heat source seems to be air tight for now. Nevertheless soon the seal will break, so it must be rescued as quickly as possible. It is in an outlying part of the ship so you should be able to break it off and bring it back."

"Hey, I'm the captain" 

"Sorry, captain"

"Right, so bring it back now as Ruri suggested" then on Akito's private channel ignoring the gravity of the situation, as usual "O and Akito I have a surprise for you!"

Akito blushes again "Err … right…great…"

Because of course she could see Yurika talking in her viewscreen of Akito, and considering that Izumi and Hikaru have started laughing again. "As I'm the only one here who can do anything …"

"Err …. Yrika what exactly is this surprise" dreading the answer Akito still has to ask 

"I can't tell you silly, otherwise it's not a surprise!" Still ignoring the fact that someone is rapidly freezing/asphyxiating to death Yurika twitters on. 

Ryoko starts to rip out section of ship, realises that it is twice the size of her Aesti and pauses

"Hey, get over here!" Venting her frustration at her flight mates inability to do anything she slams her fist on the dashboard " Aghhhh! Dammit that hurt" realises that this is being broadcast loses it completely "TENKAWA, IZUMI, HIKARU, stop Gossiping! And get over here! NOW!

"Err ….. right …..great…..got to go" Remembering what just happened Akito turns off the screens and relaxes, apart from occasional twitches, then glides over to Royoko's Aesti which is starting to sink as it supports the massive weight of the section.

Between the four of them they manage to drag the section back to the Nadesico without it cracking open like a newly born bird making a break for freedom.

Akito calm now that he has turned off all visual communications exclaims "Hey where's Akatsuki?"

" How stupid are you, he's just…." Still pissed Ryoko rebukes him "Where is he?" 

"Haven't seen him at all"

"Nope me neither" Izumi and Hikaru add their ever valuable input

"Then where is he?"

"Probably asleep."

"How could he sleep though this?!" Ryoko exclaimed with the assurance of someone who was woken up violently and had to dodge though the corridors to keep dry but still arrive late.

" I'm sure that you could sleep though this Ryoko, if ….." the rest of Izumi's sentence was lost when Ryoko's fist connected with Izumi's Aesti's head.

________________________________________

In the bowls of the ship a shadowy shape put down the receiver of the long range transmitter.

"How interesting, how can this be turned to our advantage."

Silence returned as they quietly padded round the corner thinking to themselves

End of Episode one


	2. A step too far

Legal stuff: **Nadesico is owned by Xebec and ADV Vision not me!** So I don't claim to own any of the characters in this fic apart from those which I have invented (which obviously are not those which appear in the TV series) so please don't sue me or anything similarly painful. Just watch your complimentary copy of the series and reflect on the wonderful job you have done.

As I have said this is my first fan fic so this is all a learning experience for me so any help would be nice especially on characterization.

If you have read this far you might as well read the rest of my fic… ep 2 awaits.

After the uproar at 2:00 in the morning was finished understandably most people went back to bed and tried to get some more sleep.

Ship time 4:00

Ruri and Minato are the only people on the bridge.

Minato speaking softly as always "if you want you could go to sleep and I could stay here?"

"No it's ok" Ruri proving this sentence false by her inability to keep her eyes open 

"If you're sure?"

"Yes……Miss Haruka" Ruri seems on the verge of saying something

"Yes Ruri." Prompts Minato

"Why did everybody react so irrationally this morning?"

" ..?" Minato knows that a polite and attentive silence asks all the right questions

And sure enough "Well everybody seemed upset and Yurika was shouting at Akito, but she never does that, and everybody was shouting at me and…" the words seem to gush out of Ruri in an endless stream without her seeming to pause for breath "...was it all my fault?" 

Minato remembers that Ruri is only 14, something often forgotten when talking to her.

"No Ruri it's not your fault at all, everybody was just a little … surprised… about being woken up so early, you only did what you had to do …"

"That's the problem I didn't have to put out an all out alarm, and ….I don't know why I did…and I didn't mean to put on the sprinklers… will Mr Aoi be alright?"

"Yes, yes everything will be fine, now I'll just take you back to your room and then you can go to sleep and then…" 

"Miss Haruka …" the normal controlled Ruri interrupts as her feelings slip back beyond her emotionless mask

"Yes Ruri?" Minato is confused by this sudden change

"Could you please not speak to me like a petulant child?" 

Somewhat flustered Minato replies "Of course Ruri, but I do think that you should go to sleep, you have been working very hard"

"Yes I think I will." Ruri murmurs indistinctly as she falls asleep as her monitor again

In a different part of the ship a much less optimistic conversation is taking place:

In the sickbay a body is barely distinguishable under a huge array of tubes, needles, respirators and other arcane pieces of equipment, keeping him alive.

"How is he?" Only now it seems that Yurika has grasped how serious this situation is.

"Alive, for the moment, we only got him just in time, any later…" Wearily the doctor replies, after two hours of surgery the blood still streaked on his scrubs in fiery lines, thinking as he does so 'please let me go and get changed and go to sleep, please!'

"Is…he going to be ok?"

Resigned to the fact that he can't escape the doctor continues "Well we've got him stabilised at last, if nothing else occurs he, might survive. However it is likely that he will die from the extreme trauma he has suffered, I've never seen anything like it… the extent of his injures is extraordinary, I've never had such a challenging case." The doctor became more animated now that he was talking about something that he enjoyed "Quite interesting actually!"

"………….!?" Yurika gasps, confused at what he is saying, and shocked at his somewhat morbid viewpoint; but mainly confused.

Realising that not everybody shares his viewpoint the doctor hastens to add "In a tragic way of course"

"……..?" Yurika's mind is back on track "Anyway who is he?"

Inez stepping out of shadows in the corner in an almost deliberately menacing way, and incidentally scaring both Yurika and the doctor witless. "That's one of the things that I need to talk to you about"

Halfway to the door by this point Yurika realises who it is and turns round "So? What do you want to talk about then?" 

Inez says nothing merely staring fixedly at the doctor who at this moment is looking away.

Yurika doesn't get it "What do you want to talk to me about?"

The Doctor turns round and because he is quicker on the uptake than Yurika, unsurprisingly, he quickly exists under Inez's piercing stare.

"Finally we can talk…"

Finally Yurika gets it "What do you… O I see! You wanted him out of the room…why?"

"Because what I'm going to tell you mustn't leave this room"

Yurika subdued for once "Right…ok"

"We don't know who or what he is"

"But … can't we check his wallet or something?"

"What was left of his clothing was melted onto his skin"

Yurika turns away "Ewwww that's horrible!"

"Yes it would have been… also his DNA doesn't match any known to the databases on earth."

"I thought that that had everybody born on earth within the last 100 years on it?"

"It does"

"So he's Jovian"

"No we can be sure he isn't Jovian if nothing else"

"…….? I thought that there was no identification?"

"His body is positively swimming with nanites and under the scaring on his hands there are IFS's" Inez explains all, as usual

"So …. He could be from mars!"

"Yes"

Somewhat later in the canteen, everybody is eating breakfast. Ryoko, Izumi and Hikaru are munching away in a corner with Seiya sitting at a nearby table; Akito joins him during his break, now that there isn't any fighting to do help Miss Howmei and her girls with their cooking.

"Hi Seiya…"

"Be quiet I'm listening"

Akito is nonplussed until Uribatake points towards the corner.

Hikaru is scribbling in her Manga notebook, then she looks up and sees Seiya staring avidly at the group and blushes, to cover this up she asks him "What do you think happened to that ship?"

Seiya tries to reply "Well …"

However Izumi buts in "It was fairly beat up wasn't it! Although that might have been due to a, certain out of control Aesti pilot …"

Ryoko responds as usual, although there is a hint of desperation which is lost on all those present "Shut up already! It wasn't, totally my fault, was it, Tenkawa" Gestures violently to Akito with her spoon almost braining him in the process.

Izumi is in a morose bitter mood however "O sorry I forgot … it must have been lover boy here who slammed into the ship out of control almost killing the only survivor, not the wonderful wing commander!"

Ryoko stands up and shouts at Izumi "At least I did something rather than float around GIGGLING!" If anybody had been listening closely, which they weren't they would have noticed that Ryoko was upset rather than just angry. She doesn't notice it but everybody in the room is staring at her, some are laughing under her breath.

Hikaru perceptive at times tactless at others misjudges the situation completely "Well if you call getting stuck, doing something..!"

Ryoko's chair slams into the pillar behind her as she almost jumps up, "Why don't you just give it a rest" She turns as if to go then suddenly spins round slamming her fist on the table with all her considerable force. "Don't laugh at me behind my back" Suddenly her face paled and she swivelled on the spot and stalked off clutching her right hand.

"What's wrong with her?" Izumi blurts out "I mean, what did we do?"

Hikaru glances down at the table as she starts to shovel more food into her mouth "I don't know, she made a huge dent though …. wait a second is that …. Blood?"

The cheap table had buckled under the blow and had cracked, exposing a razor sharp edge which was covered in a thin film of blood.

"Do you think she'll be ok?" 

"Doesn't look too bad, she's probably already on her way to the medical centre if it's too bad"

Akito isn't so sure but it only looks like a small cut and he almost forgets about it and continues chatting to the girls, however his conscience got the better of him. "She did take it badly, maybe you should apologise? Maybe she feels ill or something?"

"If you really want to you can apologise then don't let me stop you" replied Izumi sardonically, however the sight of the blood brought back memories of when she had tried to commit suicide by slitting her wrists. "I'm sure you can cheer her up, we would probably just make her mad again"

Hikaru still feeling guilty agrees, although like Izumi her reasons are more about self preservation.

As Ryoko walked dejectedly back to her room she wondered why she had flared up so violently, "I mean, they do it all the time, and I never gave a damn" Of course that was before the letter arrived. She was too involved in her own misery to notice that the trickle of blood from her wrist was growing.

For Seiya the seriousness of what has just happened has gone completely over his head as he muses to himself "didn't even have a chance to look at the ship before it was broken up by the asteroid field, not even the part you lot brought in, too little space they said has to be ejected! Ha" looking accusingly at the two remaining pilots. Suddenly another thought occurs to him "Have either of you seen Jun? He was meant to meet me to discuss tactics for tonight's poker game with me and my boys."

Izumi is still feeling guilty but Hikaru is too bubbly to be depressed for long "I didn't know that there were that many tactics in Poker?"

Seiya is flabbergasted "Of course there are! There are thousands of different styles of play, thousands I tell you and you need to be able to beat any one of them, its more intellectual than chess, and you can win more too."

"I always thought that it was all sort of, down to luck?"

As Ryoko passed her room she paused, 'should I go to the Medical centre, it is starting to hurt quite a bit….' Then she realised that she would have to explain why and how she slammed her fist into a table and cut herself … on a damn table! "Anyway I feel ok, just a little tired, if it gets any worse I'll go" she sat down on her bed and read the letter again, as she did so a tear trickled down her cheek. She still doesn't notice that the dripping has turned into a steady flow.

"Down to luck………." Seiya is a picture of amazement 

"And fixing the deck" Izumi's contribution 

"All part of the game…" Seiya remarks without thinking 'damn didn't mean to say that'

"So that's how you make all your money, you and Mr Aoi cheat at poker"

"Give us a piece of the action, or we might….accidentally…..mention it" Izumi again

Seiya is shocked "Why would nice ladies like you want to play poker?"

"Money"

"Money… we're not playing strip poker are we?" Izumi once again

"No!" Seiya starts to back away "I'll just be right back, just getting some more breakfast"

"He didn't realise that we were joking did he"

"With that expression …. I hope not!"

Akito finds Ryoko curled up in a ball rocking back and forth in her room holding her still bleeding hand. He tries to re-assure her "They didn't mean it, any of it, they were just teasing….are you crying" shock fills Akito's voice, this is unexpected.

"NO!....yes I was….my hand it bloody hurts!"

Her hand comes into view and it is slick with blood which also splattered the front of her uniform

"Ok….. I think you need to be taken to the medical centre"

"ok"

This weak almost inaudible response goaded Akito into action. Fortunately there was a first aid kit hanging on the wall and Akito quickly wrapped up Ryoko's hand with the bandages inside, but this didn't stem the bleeding completely. Grabbing her arm he literally dragged her up the corridor, leaving a trail of drops streaking out behind them

Seiya now sitting a safe distance away from Izumi and Hikaru spots the captain come into the canteen, that in itself wasn't odd but the almost furtive look around she gave was

Seiya's mind went in to overdrive when she picked up a large package from Miss Howmei. He decided to investigate. "Miss Howmei?"

"Yes, do you want, **more Breakfast"**

"No, thank you it was delicious, I was wondering whether you could tell me what was in that package…?"

"Food"

Seiya had a flash of inspiration, something he had heard while 'observing' the pilots earlier "Is it anything to do with a surprise for Akito?"

"……" however her silence answered his question

"So you know what it is then"

"Of course"

"So …."

After a minute the question is rephrased "Will you tell me what the surprise is?"

"No" Turning back to her cooking she ignores him

"O….right" Seiya wonders off

Ryoko is starting to whimper in pain with every step as she loses more and more blood, and Akito is lost.

"Dammit where are we!" Casting around for a recognisable landmark he spots a stain on the floor "What the hell" Then he looks round the corner and sees something covered in blood lying on the floor in an alcove, its Jun and the top of his head is still oozing a trickle of blood. "He's alive!" 

Then Akito notices that Ryoko is tugging at his sleeve "the medical centre is down that corridor, leave me here I'm only slowing you up…. Go dammit!" As Akito sprints down the corridor, Ryoko finally collapses due to blood loss and watches dumbly as her life seeped out of her rough bandage and drip onto the floor.

Fortunately the doctor was in the medical centre doing a routine check on his patient, "Calm down, calm down I don't understand what you're saying"

"There's been an accident … Jun and Miss Subaru … I couldn't do anything to help them, there was too much blood … blood everywhere!"

The doctor got the message not so much from Akito's garbled message but his agitated state, and the fact that he was covered in blood.

"Where!"

"I tried to help her but it was too late … I did try …" ashen faced Akito is mumbling and shaking uncontrollably slumped in a chair.

The doctor recognised the signs of extreme shock but there wasn't enough time to calm him down. Yanking Akito to his feet shouting in his face he tried to get some sense out of him. "Look at me, look at my eyes" In the face of the inane babbling he started shaking Akito violently "where are they dammit"

Akito finally manages to pull himself together "They're … down the corridor, turn left then halfway down in an alcove… I'm so sorry but…"

The doctor slams his fist of the emergency alarm, screaming into the microphone, "I need a full turnout in sector 25c corridor" glances at plan on wall "...12, got that! Two critical cases, I'm on rout" glances at Akito and the blood splattered down his shirt "Prep the surgery and get a blood transfer unit ready for a Aoi Jun and Miss Subaru"

Akito has calmed down slightly "Is there anything I can do …"

"NO! … Just stay here! … and don't touch anything!"

Akito blanches and backs away "I'm sorry … I did my best"

He is talking to an empty room

Akito slumps back and shuts his eyes as unbidden an image of Jun floats up, the back of his head caved in, a bloody mess, and a bone fragment glistening in the overhead lamplight.

Akito's head snaps back as the medic teams voice drifts down from the transmitter which is still on hanging by his head. "I'm on scene, lets see … there's blood everywhere, bloody hell … He have two cases of severe external bleeding, both patients are unconscious, the male … has had his head caved in he is still alive, just … we need that team here NOW!" Akito stared blankly ahead of him as he hears the approaching thunder of footsteps over the radio.

"We're here what's the sit rep, of HOLY SHI …" As Akito hears somebody being messily sick he felt the bile collect in his throat as he remembers.

"Get him on the stretcher… you get a grip … you and you get her on another stretcher she's fine apart from lack of blood, patch her up start the transfusion then meet me in the Surgery, go dammit go! This one can't last much longer"

Finally Akito finds the off switch and slumps in the blissful silence, except for Ryoko's last words echoing round his head 'leave me here I'm only slowing you up…. Go dammit' and him running away as she bled to death and of course those fateful words 'This one can't last much longer' 

As his head slumped forwards into his hands he realised that he wasn't alone barely two feet away a prone figure lay unmoving one hand lying limply outside the blanket, as his mind tried wildly to distance him from what had just occurred he noticed a familiar outline under the scar tissue on the body's left hand, an IFS 

Almost trancelike he reached out before realising what he was doing, and grasped the hand. 

Almost as though this had connected an electric circuit the still stranger convulsed uncontrollably his muscles writhing in agony and as his back arced in pain and his mouth opened in a wordless scream all Akito could do was stare into the milky dead eye's staring madly back at him.

END OF EPISODE TWO

Any (relevant) criticisms would be welcome so please review …. Thank you for reading


	3. Consequences and revelations

Legal stuff: **Nadesico is owned by Xebec and ADV Vision not me!** So I don't claim to own any of the characters in this fic apart from those which I have invented (which obviously are not those which appear in the TV series) so please don't sue me or anything similarly painful. Those which I have created … well no-one would want to but if you do have the strange desire to steal them. Please don't.

Thank you Huhn for the review and Sprite, brassmonki for the proof reading and general help. Hopefully now I have more description and I am spell checking very carefully.

Ryoko woke up, normally people would say something like 'Where am I?' or even in some cases 'Who am I?', however Ryoko didn't have this problem firstly because she knew where she was because it was on a plaque directly in front of her. And secondly even if she had lost her memory she would still know who she was …

"Ryoko … your awake … you're ok now!" Having your name shouted in your ear from an inch away is a fair indication of who you are even if you are confused. 

Ryoko sank back into the pillow and closed her eyes; she didn't have to look to see who this was. Only one person could sound so bubbly in a hospital.

"Hello Hikaru"

"You're in the hospital wing of the ship"

"I know"

"Do you want me to get you anything?"

"No … actually, could you do something for me?"

"Of course" Hikaru was struck by the hesitancy in Ryoko's voice.

"In my room there is a letter, by my bed, could you bring it here .."

Hikaru starts to walk to the door "I'll just go and get it" 'And have a quick look of course' she thought to herself.

"Hikaru"

"Yes, Ryoko"

"I know that you want to but don't do it"

"Do what …" Hikaru turns back at the door an expression of innocent incomprehension on her face.

"Look at the letter" Hikaru finally notices that Ryoko is speaking without emotion, almost mechanically. "Please don't" 

This statement is so unusual that Hikaru instinctively replies "Of course Ryoko, I promise that I won't look" 'Damn why did I say that, there must be something really interesting in there, maybe she's finally got over Akito and has got a secret boyfriend, …. But how' Hikaru was still muttering to herself as she exited almost knocking down an entering doctor.

Recalling what had happened Ryoko thought 'They must think I'm a real nut case now!'

As the doctor swept into the room he pulled a clipboard off the end of her bed and started scribbling, checking the various instruments surrounding her.

"I am here you know"

The doctor peered down his nose at this interruption, damn, though Ryoko, he even has those stupid half moon spectacles to peer over.

"You don't look suicidal"

 He even sounds like some 80 year old second hand book seller, Ryoko thought,

"It just goes to show, you really can't tell" 

Ryoko replayed these statements back in her head, "Hey I'm not suicidal, that's Izumi and she's over it" She really couldn't muster the energy for a good rant at him; also the shock might kill him she thought as he bumbled off.

At the door the doctor turned round "There's no need to get upset about it, we're here to help, and there are no sharp objects around you so don't feel tempted."

As he wandered off Ryoko said helplessly to the empty room "I'm not suicidal, it was an accident!" she then realizes that something is missing "Where the hell is that guy who I rescued?"

Hikaru struggled with the moral dilemma but finally decided not to look, or ask Izumi to look, or accidentally look in anyway at the letter. When she reached Ryoko's room and the door slid open the first thing she noticed was the stench of blood wafting out making her gag.

The bed was completely soaked and lying on the floor was a much folded piece of paper with 'Lt. Subaru' written on the uppermost side; however this had been rendered almost unrecognizable by the smudging caused by drops of water falling onto it. Hikaru picked it up and hurried away.

She almost smashed Izumi down the corridor as they collided. "How is she" Izumi subdued for once asked, catching sight of the letter she asked "what's that?"

Hikaru remembering her promise to Ryoko and herself "N  ... nothing Izumi!" and continued down the corridor before realizing that in the confusion Izumi had taken the letter.

"No! I promised Ryoko … "

"I won't tell if you don't"

Izumi scans the first line then starts swearing graphically and imaginatively so violently that a passing engineer looked at her strangely then wondered off muttering to herself.

"What is it Izumi?"

Wordlessly she is handed the letter and against her better judgment she opens it.

"Not another damn doctor" Ryoko's exasperation was evident even from across the room 'why doesn't Hikaru come back I need someone sane to talk to someone sane'

"Quite chirpy now aren't we" this doctor had greasy hair and a faint patina of sweat glistening on his balding dome.

Ryoko deciding that anybody so clichéd and dull could safely be ignored tried to sit up as Hikaru came in.

After the scream of pain subsided the doctor continued "I wouldn't try and push yourself up with you damaged arm quite yet m'dear" Leering at Hikaru "I'll leave you two ladies … alone, maybe you're friend could give you a helping hand" giggling to himself he leaves the room.

Ryoko clenched her good hand "If he comes within punching distance he will see how 'chirpy' I can be …"

"He wasn't so cocky yesterday morning, he slipped up in someone's vomit and slammed into a wall when they were clearing up"

"Who told you that?"

"The head doctor"

"?... I may have been in here some time but I don't know who any of them are"

"The one who isn't a librarian or the perv"

"Right …. Did you get the letter?"

"Um well …"

Ryoko panics "You did find it, where is it!"

Izumi, who was waiting outside, sighed and stepped in. Holding the open letter.

Ryoko loses any cheerfulness she had put on for Hikaru's sake and just stared at their faces.

"You know don't you"

"Yes"

"It's not true none of it …." Ryoko paused as her voice began to break and tears welled up in her eyes.

In the intensive care section Jun is lying lifeless in his bed the only noise the quiet beeping of the heart monitor and the quiet hiss of the artificial lungs. His head is swathed in bandages and he hasn't regained consciousness.

Asleep after a night waiting in vain Yurika is slumped in a chair outside.

Inez is slumped in another chair and is talking to the head doctor "Finally, we almost lost them"

"It doesn't help that Mr Smith suddenly broke from his coma into a synaptic cascade, can we talk freely here …"

"Yes doctor we can" emotionless as ever even after 10 hours "For her own sake I gave her a sleeping pill, she still refused to leave though …"

Sarcastic, in a nice way however he replies "Aww how sweet, anyway what the hell caused that full synaptic cascade. I've never heard of that happening before."

"I'm not sure yet, I need to run some more diagnostic tests" Inez seems puzzled by her own inability to comprehend this problem

"Somebody obviously took a dislike to Mr Aoi, whatever you may tell the others, those wounds were not accidental, he was hit three times in the stomach and two glancing blows to the head." Looking bleary eyed at Inez then stretching lazily he continued "If either of those had connected properly he would be in the refrigeration unit by now"

"However the story put out to the crew is that, still concussed he slipped up again and tragically his head smashed against the bulkhead causing that injury"

"Right I'll prep my team" Yawns "Then I'm off to sleep"

Inez was too deep in though to respond or even notice when he left she was too concerned about what had happened. Even a partial Synaptic cascade for a couple of minutes was a freak byproduct of faulty IFS insertion which was incredibly rare and of course it was occasionally deliberately employed in some dictatorships … a full synaptic cascade was a logical impossibility! As Inez drifted into sleep her mind relived what had happened ten hours before.

(10 hours before, and 5 minutes after the medical teams arrived at Ryoko and Jun)

On their way to the operating room Keiji's (the head doctor) communicator starts vibrating on his wrist and a warning message appears in front of him. Complicating matters. "Mr Smith has suddenly broken from his coma violently, Yama get this one in surgery and start work, the skull doesn't look fractured but check. The woman should be ok after patching up and a transfusion."

Yamaguchi (Yama for short known to Hikaru as the Librarian one) now recovered after being sick sheepishly relies "We might need to drill and remove liquid pressure on his brain"

"Do what you have to" Keiji shouted back as he hurried onto the ward 'damn that sounds cliché!' 

Running in to the ward he is confronted by four nurses (the Howmei girls) holding down the patient and one franticly and repeatedly hitting the alarm button. 

"Stop that! Now calm down what happened" This time he didn't start shaking her to get the information, he still felt guilty about ignoring that kid's evident shock before but he had to get the information fast.

"Um … suddenly his heart rate and pressure went up and the computer readout said …"

"What!" 

"Um … here it is" 

Keiji quickly scanned the sheet of paper until he stopped at possible causes predicted by the medical records synaptic reaction P85.

Glancing at the trembling girls name tag then staring into the distance almost calmly, a sharp contrast to the nurses who were struggling to keep the convulsing figure in the bed, he suddenly clenched his fist and asked her "Miss Eri could you please get Miss Fressange, … as quickly as possible, no I don't care if she doesn't want to be disturbed tell her, her pet theory is just about to be proved brutally right!"

"You er … Juko and you Sayuri get a drip ready and a sachet of no.2 anesthetic," franticly reading off nametags and counting off the things needed on his fingers he continues "Harumi find the strongest painkiller we have in the storage cupboard, the code is 4783LK2J … um … what else do we need!"

"A neural reader and a resuscitating unit"

"Thank you Miss Fressange, I'm glad you could take the time away from your studies to see one of your theories in action … Junko you heard the woman get the equipment, get some restraining straps while you're there and also …. don't worry its here, go go!"

After some frantic running around, bumping into each other being yelled at and occasionally mistaking equipment everything is assembled.

Inez is noting the readings streaming off the neural reader and a faint smile touches her lips.

"I'm right in assuming that there is nothing we can do except drug him up to his eyeballs with painkillers and neural suppressers … yes thank you Eri you can go and help your friends start up the resuscitation unit, its over there, by the big buzzing thing, yes that's it there … and ride out the storm" Keiji organizes the Howmei girls, ties down the patient and talks to Inez at the same time, and manages to sound vaguely coherent.

"According to my theory yes"

"According to your theory this is impossible"

"Nothing is impossible, doctor"

"Right Junko now just insert the needle gently, no not there … in the vein, that's it … no not too deep right now start the anesthetic dispenser going, you've hooked him up?"

"Yes, sir!" Howmei girls give strange attempt at salute.

"So all we can do now if wait and pray that it affects him quickly enough so that this cascade doesn't kill him!"

Inez is still standing smiling slightly holding the readout.

"Why are you still monitoring him? His brain waves should be completely unremarkable; he's completely out of it"

Inez's smile fades as she passes him the readout

"What there hasn't been any affect?"

He turns to the Howmei girls just as one of them cries out "It's not doing anything, the computer says … that he's rejecting the drugs"

"But that's impossible!" Contradicting her earlier statement Inez now frantically scans the read off.

"Sayuri, take a blood sample, quickly … um on second thoughts I will"

As he quickly inserts the sterilized needle into an available vein then draws out a capsule of blood which he quickly inserts into a blood spectrometer and a drop onto a microscope slide. And as he adjusted the tracking and focus with one hand as he tapped the desk rhythmically with the other.

As he does this the progress reports from the Nurses are steadily worsening. "INR is reaching the limit of recordable levels!" "Blood pressure spasmodically rising and falling" "Pulse weak and irregular" "Still no affect from the drugs!"

Ignoring this, Keiji zero's the microscope on a point of activity and steadily increases the magnification until even the miniscule red blood cells are visible. As he did so the tapping, reflecting his mood became more frantic and disjointed.

Standing up he sighs and stares upwards before continuing almost in a monotone, "Miss Fressange, we suspected that the Nanites can perform genetic re-composition, now it seems that is not all they can do." Gestures wearily to the microscope, then stands and stares blankly at the instruments surrounding the figure, now weakly thrashing around under all the restraining straps. Slowly his fist clenches until his knuckles turn white.

Puzzled by this strange behavior the Howmei girls stand around dumbly bereft of any orders and having no idea what to do they huddle in a group waiting.

Inez starts speaking, her eye still on the eyepiece of the microscope. "How is this possible, the anesthetics are being … decomposed? They're being converted into harmless byproducts, which don't have any effect … it's …. it's the Nanites. But how! It's been proved that they are only passive components except in the extreme case of outside intervention during the first few months of pregnancy…

She is cut off rather rudely by Keiji "He's going to die isn't he"

Straightening up she turned and answered his question, but without meeting his eye's. "Unless, we can stop the cycle he will die, its amazing he's lasted this long, but you know that, its not your fault, just like it wasn't your fault before" Finally she meets his eyes, then quickly turns away.

"You know that I couldn't take it happening again, Inez, not after last time … not again!"

The Howmei girls huddled in the corner, silent observers to a play in which they have no part or can possibly image what has happened in the first half.

"There is nothing you can do Keiji! Just except it finally!" in a rare display of emotion Inez raises her voice and finally meets and keeps eye to eye contact. 

"You weren't there, you didn't watch him die! It was my fault; nothing you can say can diminish that." His voice brakes as the echo's of the past threaten to overwhelm him and he turns away from Inez as he does so the Howmei girls see his face now cold and emotionless the features a stark relief to the eyes. Two dark orbs filled with unending pain staring out upon the world blankly with remembered pain. 

"It could be said that the greatest crime would be to give in to selfish self-pitying when the chance remains to save this man" 

Slowly with deadly calm he replies "Once I didn't know what to do or what I was doing, that wasn't an excuse then it isn't now, now I know exactly what I need to do, I just can't do it; and yes it is selfish of me, but then people with emotions need to release them occasionally" 

"Then I will leave you to your pain, whatever good that does you … or him" after this bitter retort Inez walks slowly out ushering the shocked Howmei girls with her.

Ryoko has recovered and Hikaru and Izumi are sitting either side of her bed, even Izumi realizes that making wisecracks at this point wouldn't be a good idea. Ryoko is red eyed and exhausted in mind and body. This huge contrast to the confidant, authoritative and sometimes violent tomboy the pilots knew was gone frightened young woman sheltering under the shell was exposed. After reading the letter both pilots understood why.

Speaking in a gentle voice Hikaru asks "You know we will always believe you Ryoko"

With a flicker of her old self Ryoko reply's "Hikaru I may be in a hospital but I am not a nut case, neither am I an invalid, continue in that tone of voice and expect immediate violence."

"Erm … yes, right" Hikaru continues in her normal voice. "Well I think the first thing we should do is tell the captain"

Izumi slightly less naïve answers before Hikaru herself is hospitalized "No we can't do that, firstly as captain she would have to lock up Ryoko, even if personally she did believe her."

Depressed as her fears are confirmed Ryoko continues "Secondly she might not believe me." 

"Why wouldn't she believe **you?"**

"Less competition for Akito, if Ryoko is out of the way" Izumi feels that this positive joke should be safe and maybe cheer up Ryoko.

"Izumi, I hate to brake your perverted bridesmaid fantasies, but our benevolent captain has Akito firmly under her thumb, I don't have a chance and …I never really had any chance" Izumi's comment backfires as Ryoko becomes even more depressed.

Hikaru is bursting to say something so the others let her "Um … we could work together as a team and find this blackmailer!"

Izumi can't help herself and starts giggling insanely. 

Ryoko's mental compass  swings back to normal as she smiles slightly then explains the facts of life to Hikaru "Hikaru, I don't know if you noticed but we're not in one of your anime shows, the real word doesn't work that way. 'Three best friends and a dog' going around solving mysteries only happens in kiddies shows."

Hikaru pouts and turns red at this insult of her pride and joy "Some of those programs are designed and written for an adult audience; there not all for kiddies … anyway even those are fun to watch."

Izumi falls out of her chair laughing at the outraged expression on Hikaru's face.

Even Ryoko manages a proper smile.

Hikaru outwardly embarrassed and inwardly pleased splutters "Well I like them anyway!" in her mind a little chibi Hikaru punches the air in triumph. Not only had she managed to stop one of Ryoko's more destructive mood swings but she had … made a complete fool of herself … damn she thought as the chibi Hikaru hung her head in shame.

"So what can we do then?" Hikaru is steadily turning redder and redder.

Izumi is lying on the floor thumping it with her fist and begging for mercy between bouts of laughter. Ryoko is staring out into space with a slight grin on her face which slowly fades as her mind returns to the problem at hand.

"Well what!" Hikaru exasperated at the lack of response, or in Izumi's case coherent response. "You don't have anything better to do, do you!"

"Nothing"

"What!"

"Nothing, we can't do anything, anything at all … were completely at this persons mercy."

End of Episode 3

(A/N Hopefully all will be revealed in next episodes, cos otherwise this one will be too long. About the Howmei girls being Nurses, well … er it seemed like a good idea at the time. I'm sorry if I have insulted any Nurses by inadvertently suggesting that all it takes is the ability to take orders promptly and a certain familiarity with sharp knives and slicing up things. I didn't mean it. Also otherwise I can't justify more than 3 doctors on a ship with Mr Prospector as the bursar. Plus I find them funny….)


End file.
